Becoming a Conversationalist: How to be a “Trampoline Listener” in a Conversation

What makes you interesting is your ability to make others interesting. To make that happen, we have a whole lot of listening to do. Listening is a skill that can only be practiced by doing the act itself. When we genuinely listen, we understand. It helps us build rapport. It builds trust. It shows we care.

After all, everybody wants to be heard. 

What You May Be Doing

• Repeating back what they said

• Occasional nodding

• “Mhmm” 

For long, we’ve thought that this is how we listen, but a way to be present in a conversation is by creating a space for the other person to freely share what they wish to say. When we do those things, it leaves no space to branch out. So what do we do?

The Theory of What We Should Be Doing

Become the trampoline listener. When you’re on a trampoline, you’re energized, you reach heights you wouldn’t be able to simply by jumping. That’s what you should be. A trampoline. When a person is sharing their insights, you should be a trampoline where new ideas can bounce off of, to amplify thoughts and ideas, giving clarity and new perspectives.

Practical Strategies for Becoming a Better Listener

Listen without interrupting: Resist the urge to interject or offer your own thoughts while the speaker is talking. Allow them to finish expressing themselves fully before responding or asking questions.

Look at the speaker's nonverbal cues: Pay attention to the speaker's tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language to gain insights into their emotions and underlying messages.

Use positive body language: Lean slightly forward, nod occasionally, and adopt an open posture to convey receptiveness and encouragement. Avoid crossing your arms or displaying closed-off body language, which can signal disinterest.

Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage the speaker to elaborate by asking questions like "Tell me more" or "What do you think about that?"

Reflective Listening: Paraphrase what the speaker said to ensure understanding and show that you're actively engaged.

When we listen to others it must be clear to us that those words are not just sounds that come out of their mouth, they come with meanings – with joy, pain, complaints, jokes, and many more that the other person is trying to convey. To build that connection, our role is to make a room for them to freely share those words with meanings, and that begins with listening. 

We have 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason after all 😉

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