Drawing the Line Between the “Funny” Friend and a Bully — Subtle Signs of Bullying 🚩

Was it really meant as a joke? 🤔

We will touch on the following…

➤ What makes a bully: Understand why they do what they do
➤ Understand the different types of bullying: Subtle signs of bully

There are three sides to this, either you are being bullied, you see someone being bullied, or you are the bully. Bullying can be tough to spot. We can either be blind to it or choose to ignore it. 

Bullying does not only come in the form of physical violence.  It comes in various forms. And more often than not, it’s subtle. It can even start as friendly fire until you recognize changes in the interactions – they seem less and less funny, more and more disrespectful, even belittling.

What Makes a Bully

There are multiple reasons why individuals may engage in bullying behavior. 

These include …

• Seeking attention 

• Projecting their own insecurities onto others

• Attempting to alleviate personal frustrations or stress 

• Seeking to assert dominance and control 

• Succumbing to peer pressure

• Deriving pleasure from causing harm to others 

These are some of the reasons, and in no way are they excuses. 

What are the Types of Bullying

Bullying is not limited to five-year-olds picking on other children for some reason, it is very prominent in older groups, like you. They can appear in various forms and settings. Recognizing these less obvious forms of bullying is something that comes as a challenge. So what are they?

Let’s say, you have a friend, who is labeled as someone who is “just the way he is” … but where do we draw the line? See which one checks out!

1. The Jealous Type: The "Funny" Friend starts mocking your achievements or belittling your efforts to maintain their superiority. 

   This is someone who is initially supportive but turns hostile when threatened by your skills or achievements, constantly undermining you.

2. The Convenient Confidant: When you are hurt, they appear. They gain your trust. Later on, they bring up this moment of weakness and pull on your strings.

   This is someone who befriends when vulnerable, then when they see fit, they will use your loyalty to their advantage.

3. The Meticulous Critic: Say someone constantly jokes about you or your work, they criticize you nonstop, which makes you wonder if any work is ever enough.

   This is someone who relentlessly criticizes without constructive feedback, leaving you feeling inadequate.

4. The Duplicitous: They are a friend to you in private, but in public, they undermine you to peers.

   This is someone who appears supportive privately but undermines publicly, operating deceptively.

Those are not all of them. It barely covers it all. It comes in so many more forms. You have to assess whether this is happening to you, around you, or whether you are the one who should make a change within yourself because you have inflicted this behavior upon others. 

Know if it was really meant as a joke. 

Draw the line.

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