“Uy, Tumaba Ka!” A Stoic Guide to Handling Unwelcome Remarks 🗣

Criticism is an inevitable part of life. Whether it comes from relatives, peers, teachers, or employers, once we find out how to effectively deal with criticism is a valuable skill that can help us grow and thrive. 

It's important to distinguish between constructive criticism, which aims to help us improve, and destructive criticism, which seeks to tear us down.

The Stoic Perspective

Stoicism, an ancient philosophy founded in Greece, teaches us to:

• Focus on what you can control 

• Accept what you cannot.

• Maintain inner peace and tranquility, regardless of external circumstances.

By adopting a Stoic mindset, we can approach criticism with equanimity and use it as an opportunity for personal growth.

The True Stoic

We all have that one person in our lives who makes it their life’s mission to break us. 

For example, your family has gathered for a celebration, and amidst the festivities, your tita makes a comment about your weight, calling you "fat" in front of everyone. 

In this situation, rather than feeling crushed by the criticism, you decide to approach it with a Stoic mindset. You take a moment to step back and assess the comment objectively. Instead of letting emotions cloud your judgment, you remind yourself of the Stoic principle of focusing on what you can control.

Pause and Reflect: Before reacting, take a moment to pause and reflect on that comment. Initially, you may feel hurt or upset by her words. It's natural to experience these emotions, but Stoicism teaches us not to dwell on them.

Detach Emotionally: You analyze the comment and recognize that it stems from societal ideals of beauty and weight, rather than a genuine concern for your well-being. Understanding this helps you depersonalize the criticism.

Focus on What You Can Control: Rather than allowing the criticism to seep into your being and lower your self-esteem, you may view it as a cue for self-reflection and personal growth. Stoicism emphasizes the importance of continuous improvement and learning from adversity.

So, the next time life throws a "Uy, Tumaba Ka!" your way, channel your inner Stoic sage. Smile, nod, and let the critique slide off.

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